Yoga for all

When I startred my teacher training, I'll admit I wasn't sure where I wanted it to take me. I started thinking I could easily teach, but then I started to say it would just be for my own personal development, but as the course went along, the more I fell in love with yoga, and the more I wanted to share that passion.

Daily I work with children and adults with physical needs, such as cerebral palsy, spina bifida, developmental delay, stroke, Parkinson's and MS. To teach myself more I work with a boy with Autism and  girl with ADD  in the evenings as a form of respite/tutoring. Both children are10, yet very different. I have learnt a lot about learning styles, language confusion and seen how children can become frustrated when not keeping up with the standard school curriculum.

I'm a firm believer that we need to channel into the energy of kids. That movement is the essence to everyones learning. With movement we stimulate our brains and explore our surroundings. We movement with can settle the energy that can causes distraction from mental activities. In my profession, we challenge our children and adults, each and every moment. These are people who are usually sat in wheelchairs for extended periods of time. We challenge them to think, process and most of all listen. Listen to their bodies, and listen to the instructions.

I feel that the two children I'm with in the evenings, benefit from the release of endorphins to help them focus. To learn to listen to themselves, monitor themselves and see progression with what they do. With yoga I see this happening. Even when we are doing yoga they may complain things are hard and challenging but at the end I see stillness, focus and breath control. I'm trying to teach mindfulness, and hope they feel it themselves. Trying to settle nerves, rest bodies and see their own potential. I like yoga for these kids because it is not comparable to other children, or has cause and effect. Team sports can be challenging as they may not be able to co-ordinate kicking in soccer, or catch a ball 100% like in basketball. They don't have to keep up with anyone and they use their imagination to think of imagery and stories to work alongside our poses. The whole time they count their poses and are constantly reinforcing their left and right side.

I've decided, yes, I want to teach. I want to teach Vinyasa to adults in studios, but most of all I want to specialize in children's yoga. I want to show yoga can be made accessible for children using wheelchairs, non verbal children and those with limited concentration. Yoga can make them part of a community they never thought they could be.

I'm happy to say I'm putting my hand to this. I have managed to get in connection with a yoga studio ready to run special needs classes and I'm getting ready to promote, and plan for it. I recently completed a children's yoga specialized course and I have been contemplating taking the additional special needs course. However thats not in my budget this year. But I've thought about it and I've worked with children for over 10 years now and worked in the special needs sector for all of these. Kids yoga is about expression, incorporating song, drama, dance and art. I used to teach dance and drama before I went to university. I managed to take my knowledge in these areas and use it to teach classes in a special needs camp in the summer of 2004, so why not do this in yoga. I will try my hardest to believe I have the knowledge and I aim to have enough creativity to make this yoga, and ensure everyone in my classes has fun and learns something. I' ready to hit the teaching world via community outreach, schools and birthday parties, and hope people will help me share my knowledge and share my love.

Namaste.

Patience

So one thing about yoga, and doing it seriously is it requires something that is known as patience. I have a relative amount of patience, to work in my field patience is required as the children I work with need time, to learn and process and practice practice practice until they succeed in our goal. However out of the special needs world, I wouldn't call myself patient at all. I want things fast, I move fast, I eat fast and generally slow environments bore me. I have dreams of travelling, having more money and a more successful profession, and I want it all now. I finish one big project and then want the next. So the past 8 months I have learnt about the 8 limbs, about how to be un harming to myself, to not have greed and this is disturbed all through the lack of patience. That said, since my immersion I have changed a lot, things don't frustrate me as easily, I take time to just observe, chill and enjoy the moment and I've been very patient with my practice. But patience has to be learnt. You have to meditate your way through to achieve patience. Last week my mysore practice really challenged my patience and the effects of it. I will admit, I've been exploring other practices and classes and not been able to make it four times a week to mysore each morning, and its been very noticable. I went through a phase of advancing each and every day, and even though I don't move on further through the series I'm ok, because I get stuck at supta kurmasana (wrapping my legs behind my head with my arms bound behind my back.) I'm fine with taing my time with this as I know my body needs time to open up. I'm not naturally flexible and I have always been ok, with the slow progression. However last week saw a near breakthrough, a half headstand (ardh sirhasan) to then be followed by a complete fail, toppling and nearly landing on someones face when the poor girl next to me was resting. Embarrassed I was actually far from, but then in it creeped, frustration. Totally threw off my final asana's in practice, unsettled my rest and critiqued myself with constant evaluation. The Ashtanga was testing me and I failed, I was inpatient. I was greedy as I wanted to get it. I was harming as I was angry with myself for not getting it. Now I know this is the challenge, I know I have to work on it, but each day I need understand me, and understand how such things effect not just me but those I know. If I'm hard on myself, my body language changes, my health and my spirit changes which can bring down the mood of others. This is way more than a physical challenge, but a mental one too, but I have to remember to not work too hard on it, because then the impatience happens again, then the circle is created. I have to allow it to come naturally to allow it to become me!
Wish me luck

Namaste

Supta Kurmasana - The place where I start to close my practice as I'm no where near here yet. But maybe one day! (Please note as I can't do this, this is not my picture, and I found it online through a  search engine, she makes it look so easy)

Graduation

This weekend I graduated. Yes, its hard to believe but I'm certified to teach yoga. So why do things feel a little bit empty, which is weird as I had a wonderful weekend, emotional really. This weekend we got together as a class and brought together a 75 minute class with each of us teaching one section for 8 minutes. We practiced Friday, again on Saturday and taught to a group of real students, that meaning not just each other, but outsiders. Friends, family and regular Fireflow students. Everyone felt pretty nervous but for me I guess I just focused on the fact that thats it, course up. Last weekend doing something I love. For a moment I didn't want the class. I wanted to be having a regular YTT weekend again.

I've loved every single weekend I've been at Fireflow for teacher training. It's been busy. We learnt, anatomy, sanskrit, adjustments, asana's, ayurveda, chakra's, Ashtanga, vinyasa, restorative, yin, mediation, more adjustments, more teaching, and yoga text. So much was crammed into what seemed such little time, but it was a total of 250 hours, which is more than the average teaching course.

Coming to the end, I wouldn't say has brought on sadness, but does have me feeling like I still want more. More learning, more practice, more fun with my friends and the company of my teacher. I guess I feel very blessed to have had this experience over the last 8 months, and hope that my new life in this community will keep me feeling as humble and calm as I have over this time.

I guess my new posts will be about me as a teacher, yet still a learner and still hoping you want to read more.

Namaste

Learning in just 200 hours?

As graduation from my yoga teacher training approaches I'm nervous. Mainly because that means official studying is over but the learning will not. I graduated from university nearly 5 years ago and each and everyday I continue to learn. I learn from those I meet and work with, and take upon my own self study, but maybe as I was younger I never felt nervous. Its typical for the newly grad to be naive as to what to expect, so is that why I feel nervous about graduating now, into something completely new to me. Because not only will I be learning in my full time job, but I will be continue to try and learn as much as I can in my new role as yoga instructor. I'm also starting to admit I'm nervous because each and every weekend I have been at yoga teacher training I've been happy, energized and looked forward to upcoming schedule. I've had near melt downs over test's in sanskrit and chakra's as I have over every exam in my life, as I want to do my ultimate best. I've struggled to read the complex text of yoga sutra's but been engrossed in the explanations and insight my teacher gives. I've questioned myself and the theory, and criticized my teaching each time I do. I wonder if I will ever be respected as I respect my teachers, but the past 8 months I've been really different, I've been really happy.
  As graduation approaches I'm considering who will be my students, and always looking at courses to add to my hours. I recently attended the yoga conference with excitement as I attended the six hour chair yoga workshop, perfect for me in my already career within the disability sector. I was reluctant at first as the cost was so much, but I am glad I did it. There was a lot of people there in this particular workshop, so it is evident that this is a field really needed. I loved the lecturer Annete Wertman, she was honest, fun and imaginative. She specialized in geriatrics and I respected the insight and quotes she gave on this population. She admitted she had to teach herself how to teach this population, and really I can see it's common sense, but I do like to understand that I am on the right track with how we would teach something.
  That being a positive experience of the day, I did find a negative. Mostly in the other attendees in the workshop. We were given the task to split off into groups and rephrase common sentences/ phrases Annette had heard teachers say in classes she had attended. Being teachers I should imagine you will pick up on any thing like this. I myself find myself now thinking how I would say things differently or do things differently. Example of phrases she gave were: "Feel like your heart is melting" "Get rid of all the garbage in your body out of your feet" Really for any of my yogi friends reading this I'm sure your laughed or smirked, but people do say things like this. But working in groups I found the other participants were unwilling to co-operate in doing the task. They laughed and said it's probably teachers from a 200 hour course. Now... I stuck up for us 200 hour students. That's not fair. Firstly, there are other options for studying such as 500 hours, but here in Toronto I can gurentee over 75% of those people learnt from a 200 hour courses. Traditionally there was never a teaching course, you were blessed by the teacher who created the type of yoga, such as Shri K Pattabhi Jois. The women were all much older than me, and I sensed some real arrogance around them. I'm a student in a 200 hour and know that the example of sentences were ridiculous  but I do believe they were said. I said to everyone, teaching is based on the person and their experiences and how they learnt. Through my course, our teacher has been honest with us, she has told things we should avoid saying/ doing, and always justified and given reasons why. I'm also a teacher, and already know to think before you say, so you can't point the finger at me and say its because I only received 200 hours. Anyone knows you never learn anything until you have experienced it. You learn from the things you do, you evaluate,  modify and make better. You can't judge things said on a whim. So these women in my workshop had more years of experience for a reason, but were they the perfect teacher after 200, 500 or 100 hours in class.... my guess no! They have built their own knowledge, taught themselves and learnt from those they meet. My teacher has given so much, she has brought me knowledge, inspiration, passion and understanding of myself and my practice, but soon I'm on my own and I know it. I know I have to do it, and just really hope people give me a chance,  judging me for the teacher I am am, not for the hours on my certificate.
  To begin 200 hours does sound like a lot, but given the chance I would sign up 500 hours right now. But I would be going through exactly the same apprehension near to graduation also. I would have to create my own clientele,  resume and business. Who cares how strong my practice is based on that in my logged hours, but I hope people care how strong the teaching is. I may not be the most advanced practitioner  but I hope I can present, motivate and guide people to the best of their abilities. I've continued to sign up for courses, as the essence of teaching yoga is being realistic about the student I am. I will share my experience, quote from those in which I learn and hope that I'll never loose sight that everyone will have their own style, their preferred practice and understanding  but know we are reaching out to people in a very special way, by bringing them the wealthy experience of yoga.

Namaste
 

Taking a break

So I can officially say it. I need yoga in my life.
  The past week I had to take a break from my practice. It was March break and the I was running a special needs camp at work, I was working about 10 hours a day, and on top of that I got sick. First I got stuffy, then the headaches began. But prone to overworking and of course stressing about making my camp perfect, I firstly put it down to that. I was nearly able to make it to class on Wednesday but thought an early night was in need, and yes I listened to my body. Did what all those teachers tell you to do. I listened. However I felt groggy, bored, frustrated and fatigued. And I'll admit my temper at home was sharp. Why out of all the weeks to get sick, was it the one week I was running the camp on my own. Why when I had fantastic children learning things each day, did I get sick.
 This time last year I got full blown influenza and I was REALLY sick. I was off work for a whole week, very unlike me. I'm that type of person that will take the day off only when I'm told to make sure my germs are kept at bay rather than sharing with the vulnerable children I work with, but would still have energy to write reports, do the washing etc. But that week no, I was in bed all week and didn't care for food (very unlike me). That said, this time round I just had a cold. I was proud to say that this winter I had been lucky so far to not get sick, especially in the environment in which I work. I really did put it down to the yoga. I practiced regularly, detoxing my body with the breathing and quite frankly the sweat. My mind was active, my body was active and I had a perfect balance of sleep and lifestyle. It may sound silly to some of you, but I truly believe that this week I felt as I did, because I stopped my practice.
  Why do I think this? Well I've just finished another yoga teacher training weekend, and I was nervous to get back into the Ashtanga practice. The last thing I wanted was to sweat, turn my body upside down and use every muscle in my body. I was nervous my body would be stiff I would feel very sore after, and I would struggle with my breathing. But I did it, then I did it again, and then after Saturday that wasn't enough, I went home and did some more. I felt amazing. Even fairly stuffy in my head, my body felt amazing. I was folding forwards with great flexibility, got complimented on my jump throughs looking light and airy and I nearly got into supta kumasana. We practiced Mysore in the afternoon on Saturday and after dinner taught the class to each other. Usually at this time I save energy and half heartedly participate in the poses, but this time I did it with as much effort as I could. I got home, felt amazing and started to practice some vinyasa poses. Then I slept amazing. Then Sunday, yes I felt slightly sore as predicted, but went back to a led primary class and felt great again.
  Was it that I missed yoga that much, or was it that I gave myself enough rest that my body felt stronger? Usually each day I feel something going on, either in my neck, arms, shoulders, back, or legs due to the positions I have gotten myself into, but I hadn't had that for over a week. I was pleased that the rest was a good thing, although the rest didn't feel good at the time. But still the weekend has left me feeling refreshed and positive, and my mind feels more de cluttered (although work knows it shouldn't be).
  I can confirm yoga is needed in your life, well definitely mine. To find balance in and out of practice, to allow me to sleep well, allow my digestion to feel ok and to feel just generally more healthy. I'm sure after last week, my fiance may confirm, yes she needs yoga, and will even tell me when I need yoga from now on. I feel my personality and patience has changed in life. I am definitely less pessimistic and find enjoyment with now, versus worrying or complaining about the future, but without the physical practice, my physical body suffers.

Stay healthy
Namaste

108 Sun Salutations

Yesterday Fireflow hosted 108 sun Salutations to raise money for Arthritis Research. It was during a yoga teacher training weekend so we all had no choice, we had to do it. I will admit I was abit frustrated I wasn't going to be having my led primary class, as I'm on a real role with my practice, but I was not really aware of the challenge ahead of me. I really didn't think that 108 sun salutations would be hard, because in my eyes now nothing is as disciplining as Ashtanga.

Why do 108 sun salutations?

There are many reasons why we choose the number 108, as its a sacred number in yoga, stemming from hinduism, buddism and  other religions. Malas, garlands and prayers come in a string of 108. There is usually a guru bead, and then the beads around can turn like planets. The beads are known as malas, which are used to count mantra's as they are repeated. These can be used to count as we perform the 108 sun salutations.

  In the Vedic culture mathematicians also define 108 as the wholeness of existence as the number connects the Sun, Moon and Earth. The average distance between our Sun is 108 times the diameter of Earth. 

In yoga there are 108 marma points (sacred) points on the body, and 108 sacred sites throughout India.

i have named only a few reasons but from this you can choose whichever reason you choose to do  this ritual, or combined all. But now 108 will always be a special number in my heart.

How did we do it? There were 6 sets of 18 sun salutations. Between each set we took a few minutes break. 

Set #1: Half sun salutations

Set # 2: Surya namaskar A (without holding downward dog)

Set #3: Surya namaskar A (with 5 breaths in downward dog)

Set #4: Surya namaskar  B (with 5 breaths in downward dog)

Set #5: Surya namaskar A (with holding down dog)

Set # 6: Half sun salutations

Well I may have been wrong. Not only is that many sun salutations hard, its mentally challenging as well. It's repetitive and requires discipline in all forms. In your physique, in your focus, and in your strength. Without that your practice would have been thrown off balance. Not at any point did I try to count, because knowing how far away I was from 108 would have got me frustrated. It was hard to stay focused on your asana's, particularly when holding downdog. However the moment your mind wonders the moment you loose rhythm and form. For the second round, we were stepping to the front of the mat versus jumping in, and then you had to think about which foot first, ensuring your legs were prepared enough to make the long step etc. 

The first set was challenging just in the fact of resisting fully throwing myself into the practice. Keeping knees slightly bent as the muscles warmed, and paying attention to bundhas and dristi.

We practiced the 4th round to music as it would help energize us and move with our rhythm. I made a bad mistake in noticing that I would have to do 36 dreaded Utkatasana's. But luckily once in the flow of Surynamaskar B my focus was on the breath and positioning of my body.

Without music there was such a cool meditative sense around the room. Everyone was so focused on the practice and the energy was strong. The breaths were in unison, which could no doubt keep anyone on track. I really believe without a class full of people this ritual would have been even more challenging.

During set 3 the yoga teacher trainees spoke through a full vinyasa, which was also pretty cool, it brought us together in unison. We bounced from one person to the next and no one seemed nervous at all, considering it was speaking out loud to a full class of people, versus just each other. Well done all of you.

So ultimately it was a great experience and really pleased that I had to do it. Now I know this is a fun thing to do, which I would do out of choice, and maybe one day teach. I think it's an excellent way to raise money as people could treat it as a sponsored event. The class is perfect for people of all levels, as it brings so much to everyone. Thanks Fireflow for hosting such a great event.

Check us out here:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=rSJkkgbhDAI

Namaste!

The flow on the tip of my tongue!

So a blog post about my challenges with Sanskrit comes at the perfect time. This weekend at yoga teacher training I will be asked to teach both Opening and Closing mantra's of the primary series, and speak through the Sun Salutations with Sanskrit counting. The word nervous doesn't quite describe it.

All my life language has been a big challenge for me. I went through phases of trying Italian and French and with not much luck. It's known, us British are terribly lazy to learn second languages, but really I wanted to prove everyone wrong. I wouldn't be lazy and I would learn. But the hardest thing is after many many years of only speaking English, my pronunciation was atrocious. I was embarrassed and nervous, although keen to make an effort, but any person I would speak to who would laugh or smile, or even correct me would send me one step back. Less reluctant for me to speak out loud.

Now I'm going through it all again with Sanskrit, we read, we write, we listen, we repeat, we teach trying to say it all confidently. But to be honest I avoid it whenever possible. When I'm teaching poses, I'm usually only using the English name, admittedly because many asana's have similar sounding names, and they are so long i forget, but mainly because I'm scared my class will not know what I'm talking about. But imagine, right now I'm only saying it out loud infront of my ytt classmates, who are also learning, but the moment I will have my own class, I will fall to pieces. I think I will truly avoid, then I will never get better. So recently I have made a pact to get this down to a tee. To speak up and speak proud. I love saying the mantra's and often find myself walking around the house chanting it out loud, which beats the nursery rhyme's I pick up from work. I've been listening to different teachers online, to find if they chant in different ways I am used to. For months I had only ever had Shareen say the mantra's out loud, but I recently started at AYCT (The Ashtanga Yoga Centre of Toronto) and it was funny how shocked I was to hear just a new way to say it. No way is right or wrong, but each brings individuality to your practice. I've now even recorded it on my phone and listen to it when waiting for a bus (all in preparation for this weekend). I listen to the counts and visualize the sun salutations in my mind, and I do wonder what I look like, because I'm holding back movements. I've always thought my teacher Shareen was a great teacher, but I have really started to realize how every time she teaches she uses sanskrit and the respect I have for her effort to use it whenever possible. I've been with her so much through the teacher training, how much easier this is for me now to understand and familiarize myself with the words. Now I realize when teachers are also like me now, and focus only on the minimal sanskrit words they know. As a teacher I want to teach my students the words, the correct way, to show I understand the yoga routes and that it's more about poses, but there is history and there is passion I want to portray.

For now Namsate

Time to meditate

As part of my training we are required to do 20hours of meditation over the 9 months. I have easily gained the 50 hours of additional yoga class time, but meditation has of course been the hardest thing to integrate into my mentality and way of life. My family have always joked for years that I need to learn to meditate as I've constantly been restless and, to my shame, quite a pessimist. That said, I obviously call myself a realist. I never aim to look at the positive as to me, there's no way to then get disappointed.  I question everything and think everything through in detail, and resting my mind often comes on a Saturday night at a club with good music where I can just...dance. If I feel stressed I often focus on the next DJ coming to town and get ready to dance the night away, but this is not stress relief. This is not Santosha and contentment. This is me really having a good time out with a friend. I do need to bring contentment in my life, just to except each day as it is, and start each new day a fresh, not looking at what will be.
  Last July I was given a promotion and it scared the hell out of me. I was already hard on myself with my teaching, and soon I was to manage a large team of people, have overriding decisions with our service and deal with all the children's parents. I was nervous I would be bringing work home too often and not finding that healthy work/home balance. This is another reason I wanted so much on the yoga teacher training. A hobby and focus that had nothing to do with work. A hobby and focus just for me. To talk to people with an interest in my job and what I do, but not analyzing my decision making or teaching philosophies.

I can honestly say I don't know where I would be if I didn't have the focus yoga has given me. It is more about asana's and postures. It's about seeing things in a different way, understanding each day is its own, and to understand all walks of life and the different people that are in it.

I do bring work home often and with volunteering after work and yoga practice, integrating mediation has been hard. In general its hard to find the time and place.  I have tried waking up in the morning and doing it before anything else, but I felt it was too hard to concentrate as my stomach would rumble and I'd worry about being late for the bus etc. I have tried just before bed, by which point I'm exhausted and   feel bed time will do me the world of good. The best time of day has been just before or after dinner, not long after I finish work/volunteering. But times of the days would fluctuate as my schedule is different each and every day. By this time as well my fiance comes home, and he is very understanding to try and leave me, but the dog then goes crazy, demanding attention and that's it, concentration gone.

I think my problem is I've been trying for longer times (30 minutes) to try and increase the power of concentration and meet my hours. This past week though I have been working on 10-15 minutes and this has been much easier for me. It's the time it takes Matt to take the dog out and come back. This is going to be my aim now until April. To just be ok with 10 minutes. To not see it as failing, but an achievement that I have even given myself that time.

I'm still trying to find the right meditation for me. I'm still relying on guided ones I find online, and have fluctuated between vipassana and chakra. Right now I'm more drawn to chakra, focusing on each area and the colours. For some reason I feel lighter and grounded after listening to a series. This one being my favourite so far: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Jdyg8jt0OQU&playnext=1&list=PLF2FD8DC189134A5B&feature=results_main

With vipassana, I again get frustrated that I focus so hard and want to maintain concentration so much on any one thing, I tend to fail.

Meditation is often the biggest point of conversation I start with my YTT teacher and friends. I am intrigued to know what works for people and their experiences and they have been a great help with suggestions. Our only guy on the course has a very strong meditation practice and I'm intrigued by his healthy attitude to life and his general demeanour. Last week he guided us slightly at the end of a vinyasa class and he was able to create a great atmosphere and focus. We asked him to make a c.d for us all, but I guess we need to find it on our own first.
Lets hope that soon it will come!

Ashtanga and me

As you know I have tried yoga in different capacities through different studios and teachers. So why did I choose Ashtanga yoga. A common phrase you may here Ashtangi’s use is it chose me.

Today we are a hard driven culture and our schedules are very busy. We are hard on ourselves and set ourselves often hard goals. We measure ourselves and compare ourselves to others. Often when you tell people you do yoga, people grimace and say “it’s not for me”  “I don’t like yogi’s” or “isn’t it boring”.  Let me tell you its not just about stretching.

People believe a hard session at the gym, leaving you feeling sore is the sign of a good workout. Or you could be a huge cardio junky and obsessed with knowing the amount of calories you burn and feel your heart race. But if you try to explain to people, you can get this from yoga, they often don’t believe you. I’m a person who is a cardio junky. Cycling, running and swimming are all activities I have taken on, and when training for the marathon I saw pounds falling off me.  I had my family and friends  telling me how unhealthy I looked as I wasn’t replenishing my body the with correct food to keep me fueled. But I was obsessed with exercise. I took on personal training at the gym to help develop my strength as I constantly felt weak. The eating part was the hardest for me as I was a salad junky, ate little protein and avoided carbs, all I cared about was exercise  The harder I trained the more I lost my appetite, and the more I forced myself to eat or even drink the energy drinks my body needed. Now I still do these workouts, but not as much as my yoga practice is up to 3-4 times weekly. That said I still have to consider fuelling myself with nutritious food to give me the strength and energy to practice well.  Which I’m glad to say has got better.

  As I said, I had always been doing yoga and I had tried, power yoga, hatha yoga and Bikram. Power yoga has a catchy name to meet those qualities I had explained above, and fits well into the gym scene. Practices are fast paced and develop strength and flexibility in one. Is there a difference between power yoga and vinyasa? That I’m not so sure. I think the name just may attract a different audience. That said I had been going to a  ‘power’ practice on Friday nights with a teacher (Daniel Uy) who was fun and could push his students with also making them see the best in themselves. He gave good variations for newbies and advance and never appeared to be standing there to show off his sills as a practitioner.  I could see he went around to everyone. He was the one who had me thinking about yoga teacher training. He was the one who I could believe was there for the love of teaching. He planned a weekend retreat once, and I was gutted I was unable to make it as I work on Saturdays. His classes held a pretty similar format each week and I liked that I could see progression in the poses he put in. One thing now that I find hard with vinyasa classes is you can wait weeks on end before you come across poses you like or are nearly there with. He then started to introduce an Ashtanga style class once a month. Unfortunately the class was only an hour so we couldn’t even call it a half primary, however it was strict and hard. I realized most of his vinyasa practice was built on the series, but as a person really hard on myself and a high achiever their were absolutely no short cuts in Ashtanga. Another thing I liked about Daniel is that he would share stories about his practice and talk highly of his teachers. I have since learnt you will always have your teacher. You will find who you want to be your teacher and guide you the most. I take advice from all the teachers in which I work but I know I may question some suggestions and get it confirmed with my teacher Shareen.

  I started to look online more about Ashtanga and found the AYCT (Ashtanga Centre of Toronto) I learnt about Mysore and got intrigued, but scared at the thought of it. I could see the dedication you needed, and once again the marathon training had started so I wasn’t sure if I could commit to the amount you need to in Ashtanga. It is not something I wanted to do by half.

 I then came around to find the Fireflow teacher training. When I signed up I wasn’t 100% what would be involved, but that first weekend, hearing our first half would be based on Ashtanga yoga I was so happy. I was happy to learn about where vinyasa has stemmed from and how why, bunhda’s, and breathing are so essential for any practice. Half way through our training vinyasa classes seem easy to compose and confident to explain.

 What I have learnt is that I have come on this course, thinking I could teach at the end of it, but have learnt this is a journey about myself. I am learning more about myself, as I get inpatient with my practice, and at times lazy. To stay dedicated is hard, it is a discipline, to look at where you are now but not where you could be.

 My teacher said something last night, that really does some up why I have  chosen this. You will never be perfect at it, if you are you are not working towards anything. There is always something there to improve on, each and every one of us. This has always been my mentality in everything. School, fitness, and knowledge. At school if I ever was graded an A+ I was never actually satisfied as I was never given anything to work on. For me I always want to get better and there is always room to get better, and yes Ashtanga will give me that for the rest of my life.

Namaste

My journey into yoga explained

So my intro post may have seemed a bit of  ramble to get to the point of yoga. But that is a me, rambled thoughts all over the place, ambitious and simply just busy.
 So let me explain why I chose to blog about yoga.

I've been doing yoga seriously since I arrived in Canada. It's extremely accesible here in Toronto, and some days I walk out the door catching a glimpse of myself carrying my yoga bag and think, wow I really fit in the  typical Toronto 'look'. A city where its cool to be seen in your workout gear. Where your workout gear labels are a sign of status and fashion. Where I'm from, gym clothes are for the gym, and if you allow yourself to be seen in those comfy clothes, you're really making a statement, or quite frankly, a slob. But now even I'm drawn in to the fancy Lululemon and Nike tank tops, and admittedly they are not even that comfy any more, but look pretty and cute. When people asked me what I wanted for Christmas, there was no surprise of the answer of workout clothes, and sweaters to wear over the top, plus a yoga bag. Obviously my boyfriend says I have enough, but I'm sure I'm not the only yogi who can confirm you never do.
That besides I had tried yoga when in England at gyms and when I lived in Mauritius for 14 months, I had a Rodney Yee DVD which I practiced a few mornings a week. I'd never been in a yoga environment or met anyone with a real passion for it. My background is dancing, but I stopped seriously dancing when I finished university in 2008. Street, ballet, hiphop and cheerleading were to name a few styles, but I never believed I excelled in any. I watch video's of myself now and believe I look gangly and out of control and I'm never surprised I didn't make it as a professional as once hoped. But I always loved to dance. I loved how it could bring so many people together to share a passion. To try things, to fail, to laugh and to praise, I belonged to a great community. But my travelling bug I guess stopped that as I moved further and further away from those opportunities to find people who shared that passion. Plus my workaholic attitude gave me a schedule too busy to commit to such a hobby.

Arriving in Toronto in 2010 I was adamant I would meet people out of work and find a sport or activity where I could meet people. The problem was, and still is, I suck at any types of team sports. I get highly embarrassed of my efforts and take comments of team mates or opposition to heart. Even when I subbed in a football (soccar) game at the last minute, I still remember each moment of it and still frustrate myself with such clumsiness.  I joined the gym and took on swimming for fitness more seriously. I found a great yoga instructor at the gym, who's class I attended every Friday night religiously. I loved her classes and she made it so fun. I loved her passion and the way she tried to learn something about each student in her class. Before I knew it I had tried most classes at the gym and the equipment thing was getting boring that I was then only going to the yoga classes. Now I know what some people think, gym yoga is not real yoga, and at first when I told people I practiced at the gym people would tell me so. So much so I startred to defend why I went. I then gave up the membership and took on the internet deal frenzy crazy deals. My plan was to try as many different places for as cheap as possible to stay healthy. I then started to learn something very important, for me it doesn't matter where you practice yoga, it's about the teachers teaching you. I went to some studios and they were nothing compared to my teacher from the gym, I found classes boring, unchallenging and as a teacher, the teaching style had everything to do with me, and most of the time I wasn't finding that connection.
Then one day I bought a coupon for Fireflow Yoga. It was perfect, not only did I find a great deal but the location was awesome (near to my place), and the times of classes worked well for me. So the class I first attended was the Friday night Vinyasa. I remember it well, I remember Shareen and I remember the fulfilment after the class. I liked it that people were regulars, that the standard of the class was high, the lessons were clearly planned and the flow of poses linked together.
After my deal time was up, I thought I would definitely sign up, but financially I was nervous about committing. I still continued with yoga, but was never really fulfilled.  I was going to stay flexible and to try and relax. Then another challenge commenced. I signed up for a marathon. The training ruled my life, and I restricted myself to yoga, as I didn't want to observe my inflexibility increasing and even take away from training time.

As the time grew nearer to the marathon, I did what I seem to always do, plan the after. Plan the next stage in my life. What would I learn now? How could I better myself? What was on the bucket list?
I had always toyed with the idea of yoga teaching, but never looked into seriously. But I started to wonder how something like this could support my regular work. I work with people physically, I teach about breath control, movement and direct a class of children. Yoga I saw was a fun way, and even if it couldn't support my role directly, I was interested how such a program could help this audience. Could it be accesible for them? Is this something I could do?

Then I decided it was time to get back on the bandwagon of yoga and this time I knew I didn't want try and save a buck, but to go where I enjoyed. You pay for the knowledge and service you receive. I was heading back to Fireflow the week the marathon finished. Then looking into their schedule I came across the teacher training with Shareen. Her name had stood out a year ago when I first went, and I knew I would definitely respect all she could teach. I wanted to do it so badly, but there was so much to consider. Could I make it work with my schedule? How do I tell Matt I would be busy every other weekend, when we only ever have one day off together anyway? How could I fund it? But the more I thought, the more I knew I wanted it. I knew when that start date came around, I knew I would regret it. The more I looked, the more I liked the format and layout of the course. The more I looked I noticed what a phenomenal deal it was (unlimited access to the studio while training plus all the hours to eventually get RYT (registered yoga teaching) status.

So in September I began. I only signed up a few weeks before and I was nervous as I really believed everyone was going to be this amazing yogi and then regular old me. But I was excited that I had a goal and a focus. We had reading material and a study guide. It had been years since I did anything like it. It turned out, as a group we all had very different backgrounds and I wasn't the only newbie there. I loved the studio. It was so welcoming, and a perfect setting to prepare and relax you before and after a class. I knew the first weekend I'd made the right choice!

Sharing, enjoying, talking and more

It's been a while that I have thought about this thing you may of heard about called blogging. This concept has been vividly brought to my attention every day for over a year now. Firstly in my job I am amongst a community where parents, professionals and companies link together through social media and of course blogging. It has amazed me about how engrossing such a simple thing can be. Admittedly I really took on reading blogs when a parent blogged about our program and before I knew it there was my picture. Not only was I proud (and admittedly sent to my parents and friends back home) but it made good reading. I realized that after years of explaining Conductive Education to those people back home, that this parent was saying it best. This parent was highlighting exactly what I did, and she gave it the most meaning versus any other website or text book. It was great to read her views and to then understand what life was like outside my classroom. It showed the people I worked with as families, not just clients.
Secondly I love to travel. Those of you who know me, know that it is always on my mind. Where to next? Where will I learn the most? Where will I find that perfect place to just .... ENJOY! To appreciate and never forget or take advantage of what life, and the world, has to offer. So that gets me into reading more blogs. More friends are doing it and as I read their experiences I grow jealous. Jealous that not enough people know about where I have been and what I have seen, but I have always believed I would always store those images clearly in my mind. Last year I was given a journel and I started to write in it, and then gave up. Realizing I was hiding away behind the pages instead of enjoying the moment and probably missing the real things to write about.
Thirdly I love to learn. To me knowledge is wealth and will help us professionally and mentally. So be it courses on disability, teaching styles, yoga, fitness and nutrition, I'm learning each day. My aim is to learn something new everyday. Also there is nothing I like more than a good debate. Debates make the world go round and make conversations diverse and interesting  Debates let you develop opinions, strengthen your knowledge and allow you to understand your own thoughts.

I guess that is what brings me here. A topic I can talk about. A topic I can explore. To be encouraged to write, I must continue to learn. To share my journey with others who share the same interest, not even the same goal. Be it your passion, your interest, your study or just plain old nosiness  let me share my thoughts and experiences into my journey of yoga.

I may not have the knowledge you have in this, or I may be that inspiration to want to learn more, but take time to understand why I've decided to make this a way of life. Through the good times and the lows, (but to get through these times, means you hold a love and a passion for something your not ready to give up and let go).

I look forward to sharing my story with you and excited you took the time to read on this far. Each and everyday I want you to think about something you would want to share with others, it may not be yoga, disability or health, but I want you to know there are people out there who want to know, people out there that appreciate hearing the thoughts of .... you! Everyone has a story they can share and from now on, so do I.

For now, Namaste