As part of my training we are required to do 20hours of meditation over the 9 months. I have easily gained the 50 hours of additional yoga class time, but meditation has of course been the hardest thing to integrate into my mentality and way of life. My family have always joked for years that I need to learn to meditate as I've constantly been restless and, to my shame, quite a pessimist. That said, I obviously call myself a realist. I never aim to look at the positive as to me, there's no way to then get disappointed. I question everything and think everything through in detail, and resting my mind often comes on a Saturday night at a club with good music where I can just...dance. If I feel stressed I often focus on the next DJ coming to town and get ready to dance the night away, but this is not stress relief. This is not Santosha and contentment. This is me really having a good time out with a friend. I do need to bring contentment in my life, just to except each day as it is, and start each new day a fresh, not looking at what will be.
Last July I was given a promotion and it scared the hell out of me. I was already hard on myself with my teaching, and soon I was to manage a large team of people, have overriding decisions with our service and deal with all the children's parents. I was nervous I would be bringing work home too often and not finding that healthy work/home balance. This is another reason I wanted so much on the yoga teacher training. A hobby and focus that had nothing to do with work. A hobby and focus just for me. To talk to people with an interest in my job and what I do, but not analyzing my decision making or teaching philosophies.
I can honestly say I don't know where I would be if I didn't have the focus yoga has given me. It is more about asana's and postures. It's about seeing things in a different way, understanding each day is its own, and to understand all walks of life and the different people that are in it.
I do bring work home often and with volunteering after work and yoga practice, integrating mediation has been hard. In general its hard to find the time and place. I have tried waking up in the morning and doing it before anything else, but I felt it was too hard to concentrate as my stomach would rumble and I'd worry about being late for the bus etc. I have tried just before bed, by which point I'm exhausted and feel bed time will do me the world of good. The best time of day has been just before or after dinner, not long after I finish work/volunteering. But times of the days would fluctuate as my schedule is different each and every day. By this time as well my fiance comes home, and he is very understanding to try and leave me, but the dog then goes crazy, demanding attention and that's it, concentration gone.
I think my problem is I've been trying for longer times (30 minutes) to try and increase the power of concentration and meet my hours. This past week though I have been working on 10-15 minutes and this has been much easier for me. It's the time it takes Matt to take the dog out and come back. This is going to be my aim now until April. To just be ok with 10 minutes. To not see it as failing, but an achievement that I have even given myself that time.
I'm still trying to find the right meditation for me. I'm still relying on guided ones I find online, and have fluctuated between vipassana and chakra. Right now I'm more drawn to chakra, focusing on each area and the colours. For some reason I feel lighter and grounded after listening to a series. This one being my favourite so far: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Jdyg8jt0OQU&playnext=1&list=PLF2FD8DC189134A5B&feature=results_main
With vipassana, I again get frustrated that I focus so hard and want to maintain concentration so much on any one thing, I tend to fail.
Meditation is often the biggest point of conversation I start with my YTT teacher and friends. I am intrigued to know what works for people and their experiences and they have been a great help with suggestions. Our only guy on the course has a very strong meditation practice and I'm intrigued by his healthy attitude to life and his general demeanour. Last week he guided us slightly at the end of a vinyasa class and he was able to create a great atmosphere and focus. We asked him to make a c.d for us all, but I guess we need to find it on our own first.
Lets hope that soon it will come!
Last July I was given a promotion and it scared the hell out of me. I was already hard on myself with my teaching, and soon I was to manage a large team of people, have overriding decisions with our service and deal with all the children's parents. I was nervous I would be bringing work home too often and not finding that healthy work/home balance. This is another reason I wanted so much on the yoga teacher training. A hobby and focus that had nothing to do with work. A hobby and focus just for me. To talk to people with an interest in my job and what I do, but not analyzing my decision making or teaching philosophies.
I can honestly say I don't know where I would be if I didn't have the focus yoga has given me. It is more about asana's and postures. It's about seeing things in a different way, understanding each day is its own, and to understand all walks of life and the different people that are in it.
I do bring work home often and with volunteering after work and yoga practice, integrating mediation has been hard. In general its hard to find the time and place. I have tried waking up in the morning and doing it before anything else, but I felt it was too hard to concentrate as my stomach would rumble and I'd worry about being late for the bus etc. I have tried just before bed, by which point I'm exhausted and feel bed time will do me the world of good. The best time of day has been just before or after dinner, not long after I finish work/volunteering. But times of the days would fluctuate as my schedule is different each and every day. By this time as well my fiance comes home, and he is very understanding to try and leave me, but the dog then goes crazy, demanding attention and that's it, concentration gone.
I think my problem is I've been trying for longer times (30 minutes) to try and increase the power of concentration and meet my hours. This past week though I have been working on 10-15 minutes and this has been much easier for me. It's the time it takes Matt to take the dog out and come back. This is going to be my aim now until April. To just be ok with 10 minutes. To not see it as failing, but an achievement that I have even given myself that time.
I'm still trying to find the right meditation for me. I'm still relying on guided ones I find online, and have fluctuated between vipassana and chakra. Right now I'm more drawn to chakra, focusing on each area and the colours. For some reason I feel lighter and grounded after listening to a series. This one being my favourite so far: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Jdyg8jt0OQU&playnext=1&list=PLF2FD8DC189134A5B&feature=results_main
With vipassana, I again get frustrated that I focus so hard and want to maintain concentration so much on any one thing, I tend to fail.
Meditation is often the biggest point of conversation I start with my YTT teacher and friends. I am intrigued to know what works for people and their experiences and they have been a great help with suggestions. Our only guy on the course has a very strong meditation practice and I'm intrigued by his healthy attitude to life and his general demeanour. Last week he guided us slightly at the end of a vinyasa class and he was able to create a great atmosphere and focus. We asked him to make a c.d for us all, but I guess we need to find it on our own first.
Lets hope that soon it will come!
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