Feelings from Rishikesh

I'm now writing my blog from Rishikesh. A town In the state of Uttarakhand, which is at the base hills of the Himalayas. I found Rishikesh by simply doing an online search for Yoga retreats or teacher training  and realizing so many places were running programs in yoga in this particular area. I researched more to find that Rishikesh is famous for its yoga links and is a very holy and spiritual city for many Hindu's. It lines the banks of the Ganges that run straight down from the mountains and the water of the river is pure and clear. There are temples everywhere and ashrams are a prominent part of the build up, particularly in the area I am staying in. Many people visit Rishikesh for extended periods of time, so ashrams are like small communities with mini apartments for people to stay and deepen their yoga practice. Each ashrams usually has a guru which people aspire to. I'm only on a baby trip. 2 weeks. Now if you know me this is a big jump. Very rarely do I ever go anywhere and stay in the same place for longer than a few days. I'm constantly on the move trying to get  out and see sights upon sights upon sights. Being so close to the mountains this could be ample time, but to be honest, here I'm taking it easy and just letting my days unfold as it is. I make sure I go for at least a small stroll to to remind myself of the wonderful environment which is around. Now don't get me wrong I'm amongst civilization, not quite living amongst just the birds and the bees, but beyond the hustle and bustle there is peace as you look out to the blue water separating the town, and running away from mountains. When I walk my pace is slow,and I mull the shops looking for books, and things I could all use for my yoga practice and teaching. I get chai or a fresh juice and often just sit and read or continue to walk. I often find time in my afternoons to take rest in my room and my eyes fall closed for 30 minutes or so.  I am here on a retreat where I am deepening my yoga beyond the physical/asana practice. Until lunch my mornings are a fabulous build up of learning postures, pranayama (breathing techniques) meditation and philosophy. I then have lunch and then have time to myself or my teacher takes me out to the sights. I return in time for another asana practice at sunset and then dinner. Early nights are being fully taken advantage of.

Rishikesh is by far the most enriching place I have visited so far. I've been to visit the ashram that the Beatles visited in the past, which is now derelict which is a shame as it covers so many acres of land, and there are some great stories to help set the scene. I've visited waterfalls and temples on top of mountains to grab the view. I have also attended a ceremony that takes place every evening at sunset on the banks of the Ganges, where a local guru leads a chanting concert and people offering a gift to the waters by lighting an incense embedded in flowers, help together in a banana leaf to help it float. Unfortunately as my camera decided to die on me at the very worst moment you will have to take my word how beautiful it was. It was an interesting event where I witnessed people submerging themselves into the chants, reaching for the lanterns and flames to feel the heat and try to take the energy, and become very overwhelmed with emotions in the presence of this man. People from India, and people abroad, in fact people of many shapes, and sizes, accept reserved old me, who just took time to observe and understand.

Another thing taking up a significant amount of my time is caring for a group of small puppies outside my hotel. Unfortunately the day before I arrived one puppy was run over and spent the past 24 hours yelping in pain. I am currently the only one out of my group not on teacher training meaning I get more free time in the afternoon so offered to take him to the vet. From here on I've been totally engaged and fixated with these pups, instantly thinking about bringing this injured one home, and how to do it. I've been fascinated with observing how the pack works, and how they fight for survival. I've been feeding them, grooming them and doing everything I can to keep them strong. I stroke as much as I can to give them love although they have been ridden in flea, ticks and other health concerns. I mostly observe the Indians around me, knowing many of them wonder why I waste my time. I know keeping the puppies alive to them just takes up their streets and that they know more puppies will be along again. Some people have been great and join me when I spend time with the pups and they chat with me and tell me what they have observed in them while I was busy. At times I've even got overwhelmed with not being able to do more, and also at myself for not just allowing what will be will be. In a way this has been a massive self realization on my own behaviour. I feel while doing a whole load of meditation and getting so much deeper into yoga philosophy I am avoiding trying to delve deeper into my own emotions. My life Is that I worry about so much, and for a moment I was away from work and life back home ( saving for a house, future, and being the best for my family) and it was ample opportunity to not worry but enjoy my environment and having time to myself, that I instantly started finding something. Not even to control but I would say to fixate. I can mediate for a while but come out worrying about the dogs. I know I can't change the way it is here and the way these animals are treated, but I can't bare to see pain. I can't bare to see anything suffer and if I see it I feel it. It's made me analyze the way am am with people at work, in my family and even the general population in Toronto. I get upset and angry for others, even when problems are not my own, and I take them home and luckily I have a partner who listens and tells me to relax but I don't. I simply stop talking about it and just think it over and over. I struggle to let things go, and I know even leaving India just these little pups will play on my mind. I do think too much about the future, know I do, get frustrated that I do, and work too hard trying to focus on now. Now I know you're thinking that I'm sounding very analytical over a group of pups, but it's not just them but I think my whole experience in India. My experience right now, of being in one place, yes surrounded people I have met only last week, but really with only me that knows me, knows my demons and can only know what I need to change in my life.