Since leaving Toronto I have again found myself feeling an array of confused emotions. The drive was long and work has been hard. I am in a different role and lost as to where to begin and a new life here has finally made me panic. I am glad we came here, and I wanted to be here, so it feels weird to be feeling stressed on something I wanted to do so much. It's a time when a good gossip with a friend is in need or a night out, but my friends are very very far away. One thing that is evident that I need to do is find a yoga studio to get me back to a regular practice. I have been suffering with trapped nerves in my legs since the journey and it's been over two weeks and the same issue hasn't gone away, I know because of my limited exercise schedule. I have tried my best to get to class, as there is no room for a self practice in my house, and I went to one studio not far from where we are living right now, but I came out feeling the same, fed up, lonely and with anxiety. The studio is Iyengar based, and although I love trying new styles and mixing things up, so I can learn new information, some classes really don't satisfy. I resonate with Ashtanga and I was missing Ashtanga. Lots of Ashtanga teachers I know, have admitted at some point in their life they have cheated on Ashtanga, but they always come back, and I have been feeling the same. I am now ready for direction, to surrender to the hard practice which at times kicks my butt, but does have me feeling great and attentive afterwards.
This brings me to tell you about my weekend, I was planned to be in Edmonton for work reasons on Sunday night. The same weekend as one of my teachers from Toronto, David Robson. David is a big deal in the Ashtanga world and I am honoured to have practiced in his studio in Toronto. I used to attend Mysore classes early in the morning, which were jammed with people all hoping for guidance from David, and his time was always spread thin as everyone was there for him. I loved the studio as there were three authorized Ashtanga teachers teaching there. Also the assistants were consistent and all held the same respect for these teachers that the same theories were continued each day, so you were always getting the same information and knowledge. Everyone was strong and confident. There were some assistants, as with anything, that I resonated more with, but all were good and had a dedicated Ashtanga practice. The community in Toronto was amazing, and although I wasn't as strong as others, as regular as many and found it a little harder to fit in I was amazed at the way they all loved and supported one another.
The moment I saw David was driving distance away I knew I had to be there, in Edmonton, and I made arrangements to travel up, two days earlier than the work commitment I had. Why you may think would I travel four hours away just to be with one teacher, I have already had. Sometimes when you are with a teacher doing the same class, or workshop again, you will always get a few new bits of knowledge or words of wisdom, and I was very much in need of this. Just the odd phrase and perspective he shared would make the decision to be there so worthwhile. David has a great way of teaching, he shares knowledge of tradition and uses theories and science important for our western culture. He shares stories of his practice, and experiences with his teacher to make it clear he too is a student, and any teacher continues to practice and learn for their own students, if not new knowledge can't be shared. He makes people laugh, he makes people think and he makes people question. More importantly he took time to be with everyone, at least once. I believe he can sense what people need emotionally in their practice and he changes the way he speaks to them in order to support them.
I needed a weekend of yoga. I needed a weekend to submerge myself on the thoughts away from work, life in a new city and financial insecurities. I don't care to if I had to stay in a hostel to afford the trip which made me tired, and by Sunday my muscles were sore, because it's always a good sore that I know my body needed . Practicing Ashtanga was what I needed although I did clearly notice I have regressed and lost strength, but I could see with practice I can be back where I was weeks ago.
I loved being pat of a yoga community again, even if just for a weekend, I could see what a lovely crowd was part of this studio environment. A kind a generous studio owner, genuine and pure, and I hope I do find something which fills this spot in my life in Calgary. I hope to be back to Edmonton to practice at this studio, around the people who share the passion of Ashtanga soon, and I hope this feeling stays with me a while. All in all, it's made me realize, yoga gives me hope, as it turns my thoughts around and changes the way I think as it is much more than a physical practice as it's works deep into my mind.
Check out the studio in Edmonton: http://www.trueashtangayoga.com/
Check out David's studio in Toronto:http://www.ashtangatoronto.com/
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