So random title for a blog post for a girl who's travelling abroad, but it just felt right. So let me explain. I love reading but never do it enough, and really the only I time I ever get do it, and make progress through a book, not taking over 5 months to finish, is when I'm away or bound to public transport for a daily commute (which I no-longer do). I've started off my trip with Chris Hadfields 'An Astronuats Guide to Life' and I haven't been able to put it down, When I read I do like novels, but tend to buy more factual based books, as I pretend to swot up. This book was already in our house after a trip to Cuba last year. Matt can finish a book in days, and often talked how much he enjoyed this book, so I definitely wanted to read it. To start let me say what an inspirational man. But why have I felt the need for this long winded introduction to An Astronauts Guide to Life.
I'm on the fifth day of my travels and I've hardly had a conversation with anyone here. Things are broken in translation and it's often the pleasantry's or the sales pitch. I stayed in HoChiMinh City 6 hours (to sleep), before flying to PhuQouc. Knowing little about PhuQouc I was keen for one thing. Snorkeling! It had already been a pretty stressful experience getting there as I struggled to get travel arrangements together as I had no idea it was Tet (the Lunar New Year), which has pretty much shut the country down and doubled the price of everything. That said, I am over the moon with my decision to visit PhuQouc. I am so glad my first day in Vietnam wasn't the hustle and bustle of HCMC. I think it would have really delayed my body clock further, but being in a place I could sit, rest and not feel bad at simply taking in the beautiful sunset. One thing I certainly did notice there was I am a solo traveler. I've traveled alone before, but the more I think about it, it's usually places like big city's where you're walking about so much no one even notices, or you grab fast food or take a packed lunch and no attention is drawn to you, as you can tuck yourself away or find a mutually equal area where people are doing to same thing. Versus this time I was in a place people are either with friends or in couples/families, that when you sit at a table to order food, you certainly get the sympathy look. That my romantic walks along the beach at sunset are replaced with my iPod. The wonder of why is she alone? The discussion about the engagement ring on my finger, maybe I'm just being full of myself, because maybe no one actually noticed, but I know in the past I've done similar assumptions to others. This is the first time I haven't ever really cared. And this revelation came when I was sat at the dinner table eating in a restaurant and was reading Chris's book. He talks of missing his family, which I certainly do, but he says he never feels lonely. That loneliness is a state of mind, and those with many people around, can still get depressed with loneliness. And that's it, I realized there and then, missing someone is different from being lonely. Wishing they were here, is still different to feeling lonely.
I guess maybe for a long time, I was feeling like I should be lonely, as punishment for leaving Matt in Canada, (he's probably reading this and nodding his head) but I guess I am only alone for a few days, I know my reasons why I'm here, and really that's what matters. It's been great having detachment from so many things. I've currently been going through lots of changes lately and when living life regularly at home, working extremely long days 6 days a week, emotions run high and things are never clear, I feel like at times I live in a blur, confused. Coming to volunteer abroad feels right and I am living in the present. I am conscious of the money I spend, but remind myself to do what feels right, I've worked very hard to get here and you only live once. It's exhilarating to do things at my pace, for my satisfaction and my satisfaction only. There is no objective. It's not about pleasing people, its not about ensuring I'm always helping at least one person, because I forget about helping myself first. I don't feel I can ever get the balance right. Another quote from Chris's book was 'If you start thinking that only your biggest and shiniest moments count, you're setting yourself up to feel like a failure most of the time. Personally, I'd rather feel good all the time, so to me everything counts even the small moments, the medium ones, the successes that make the papers and also the ones that no one knows about but me. The challenge is avoiding being derailed by the big shiny moments that turn other people's heads. You have to figure out for yourself how to enjoy and celebrate them, then move on'. With this at the forefront of my mind, I reminded myself it's not about how much you actually do (I'm not competing with anyone else's travel style), how much I capture to tell people back home, but to just embrace the moment and enjoy the pace I take it.
In PhuQuoc I wanted to get out to snorkel and to hike in the National park, but I had three days. The first day I panned to lay on the beach, swim, eat, read, walk along the shore and catch up on some rest from the long journey. Most people recommend hiring a motorbike and driving up to the North area to visit the park and beaches up there, but I will not be riding any motorcycle alone. I've heard of many people getting injured this way, and with a three week work project ahead of me, I didn't want to risk anything. So was happy to book onto some tours. They were reasonable and lunch was included so, win win. Day two was planned for snorkeling in the south, and day three was kayaking and hiking in the north. I was the only solo traveler on the snorkeling tour, and it was great, I was the longest in the water snorkeling and wasn't restricted to where I could swim. I was very disappointed with the amount of rubbish along the shore by the islands, and pretty disgusted that the tour people where just emptying cans, bottles and left over food into the ocean off the back of the boat. We are trying to do so much for our planet in the western world, but quite clearly not here, but then I reminded myself, I am here to educate on cerebral palsy, to DOCTORS, so what can I expect on the clean planet issue to just about everybody here. We visited San Bao beach, famous for its beautiful white sand, but it was so busy (for Tet), I had to find a quiet patch, near more rubbish. Without a doubt with 100,000 less people it would of been pretty tranquil, and I was reminded of the many times in Mauritius, we had beaches to ourselves, so was reminded that I have had some very awesome times in my life.
Day three the tour was cancelled as not enough people signed up, so I requested I go snorkeling in the north. I'm glad I did as it was much better than the south. The tour was less busy, the pace was slower and the coral was prettier (although lots dead, because of people stepping all over it) Many local people can't swim very well, so they had life jackets and would put their feet down whenever possible, so I'm sure killing coral was the least of their priorities. Maybe I should work on educating Vietnam one bit at a time ;-) Then I was one route back to Ho Chi Minh City. I found out my flight was delayed until 12.40, meaning I wouldn't get into HCMC until 1.30am, so I thought I would pass some time with some beers in a bar.
Again another short sleep in HCMC and I was picked up for a tour of the Mekong Delta. I had decided to book a tour, to save hassle and basically just enjoy the vacation I was having, so avoiding stress at any costs. I don't feel bad for doing it, even after reading all the reviews on forums online that, tours cheat, you don't see anything or experience anything blah blah blah. I came across the Mekong Lodge. This involved HCMC pick up, lunch, dinner and breakfast, (all out of this world), overnight stay in a lovely room, a bicycle tour on Tanphong Island, cooking class, swimming pool, tour of market and local food factory (showing how to make many things from coconut and rice). It was a very peaceful experience again all at a great pace, and pretty interesting. So many fruits in the orchards, a guide to educate us on local lifestyle, and being out on the water. I highly recommend them. I slept perfectly, even though it was noisier than sleeping at the music festivals I have been to in the past because of all the very load karaoke blasting from peoples homes. I just focused on the sound of the water nearby, the crickets, and felt happy that everyone was enjoying the last few days of their special holiday.
I'm finishing up writing this at the airport as I wait for my flight to Hue where officially work will start tomorrow. It feels like I've been here longer than five days, so all of a sudden three weeks is feeling like a very long time. I'm trying not to focus on it, as really I have no idea what to expect. I feel like I should quote again from 'An Astronauts Guide to Life' but there are so many good things he says, but one thing he does mention several times, is you can spend hours preparing what to expect, but sometimes you may not know. Be as prepared as you can be, and know that's good enough.
I'm on the fifth day of my travels and I've hardly had a conversation with anyone here. Things are broken in translation and it's often the pleasantry's or the sales pitch. I stayed in HoChiMinh City 6 hours (to sleep), before flying to PhuQouc. Knowing little about PhuQouc I was keen for one thing. Snorkeling! It had already been a pretty stressful experience getting there as I struggled to get travel arrangements together as I had no idea it was Tet (the Lunar New Year), which has pretty much shut the country down and doubled the price of everything. That said, I am over the moon with my decision to visit PhuQouc. I am so glad my first day in Vietnam wasn't the hustle and bustle of HCMC. I think it would have really delayed my body clock further, but being in a place I could sit, rest and not feel bad at simply taking in the beautiful sunset. One thing I certainly did notice there was I am a solo traveler. I've traveled alone before, but the more I think about it, it's usually places like big city's where you're walking about so much no one even notices, or you grab fast food or take a packed lunch and no attention is drawn to you, as you can tuck yourself away or find a mutually equal area where people are doing to same thing. Versus this time I was in a place people are either with friends or in couples/families, that when you sit at a table to order food, you certainly get the sympathy look. That my romantic walks along the beach at sunset are replaced with my iPod. The wonder of why is she alone? The discussion about the engagement ring on my finger, maybe I'm just being full of myself, because maybe no one actually noticed, but I know in the past I've done similar assumptions to others. This is the first time I haven't ever really cared. And this revelation came when I was sat at the dinner table eating in a restaurant and was reading Chris's book. He talks of missing his family, which I certainly do, but he says he never feels lonely. That loneliness is a state of mind, and those with many people around, can still get depressed with loneliness. And that's it, I realized there and then, missing someone is different from being lonely. Wishing they were here, is still different to feeling lonely.
I guess maybe for a long time, I was feeling like I should be lonely, as punishment for leaving Matt in Canada, (he's probably reading this and nodding his head) but I guess I am only alone for a few days, I know my reasons why I'm here, and really that's what matters. It's been great having detachment from so many things. I've currently been going through lots of changes lately and when living life regularly at home, working extremely long days 6 days a week, emotions run high and things are never clear, I feel like at times I live in a blur, confused. Coming to volunteer abroad feels right and I am living in the present. I am conscious of the money I spend, but remind myself to do what feels right, I've worked very hard to get here and you only live once. It's exhilarating to do things at my pace, for my satisfaction and my satisfaction only. There is no objective. It's not about pleasing people, its not about ensuring I'm always helping at least one person, because I forget about helping myself first. I don't feel I can ever get the balance right. Another quote from Chris's book was 'If you start thinking that only your biggest and shiniest moments count, you're setting yourself up to feel like a failure most of the time. Personally, I'd rather feel good all the time, so to me everything counts even the small moments, the medium ones, the successes that make the papers and also the ones that no one knows about but me. The challenge is avoiding being derailed by the big shiny moments that turn other people's heads. You have to figure out for yourself how to enjoy and celebrate them, then move on'. With this at the forefront of my mind, I reminded myself it's not about how much you actually do (I'm not competing with anyone else's travel style), how much I capture to tell people back home, but to just embrace the moment and enjoy the pace I take it.
In PhuQuoc I wanted to get out to snorkel and to hike in the National park, but I had three days. The first day I panned to lay on the beach, swim, eat, read, walk along the shore and catch up on some rest from the long journey. Most people recommend hiring a motorbike and driving up to the North area to visit the park and beaches up there, but I will not be riding any motorcycle alone. I've heard of many people getting injured this way, and with a three week work project ahead of me, I didn't want to risk anything. So was happy to book onto some tours. They were reasonable and lunch was included so, win win. Day two was planned for snorkeling in the south, and day three was kayaking and hiking in the north. I was the only solo traveler on the snorkeling tour, and it was great, I was the longest in the water snorkeling and wasn't restricted to where I could swim. I was very disappointed with the amount of rubbish along the shore by the islands, and pretty disgusted that the tour people where just emptying cans, bottles and left over food into the ocean off the back of the boat. We are trying to do so much for our planet in the western world, but quite clearly not here, but then I reminded myself, I am here to educate on cerebral palsy, to DOCTORS, so what can I expect on the clean planet issue to just about everybody here. We visited San Bao beach, famous for its beautiful white sand, but it was so busy (for Tet), I had to find a quiet patch, near more rubbish. Without a doubt with 100,000 less people it would of been pretty tranquil, and I was reminded of the many times in Mauritius, we had beaches to ourselves, so was reminded that I have had some very awesome times in my life.
Day three the tour was cancelled as not enough people signed up, so I requested I go snorkeling in the north. I'm glad I did as it was much better than the south. The tour was less busy, the pace was slower and the coral was prettier (although lots dead, because of people stepping all over it) Many local people can't swim very well, so they had life jackets and would put their feet down whenever possible, so I'm sure killing coral was the least of their priorities. Maybe I should work on educating Vietnam one bit at a time ;-) Then I was one route back to Ho Chi Minh City. I found out my flight was delayed until 12.40, meaning I wouldn't get into HCMC until 1.30am, so I thought I would pass some time with some beers in a bar.
Again another short sleep in HCMC and I was picked up for a tour of the Mekong Delta. I had decided to book a tour, to save hassle and basically just enjoy the vacation I was having, so avoiding stress at any costs. I don't feel bad for doing it, even after reading all the reviews on forums online that, tours cheat, you don't see anything or experience anything blah blah blah. I came across the Mekong Lodge. This involved HCMC pick up, lunch, dinner and breakfast, (all out of this world), overnight stay in a lovely room, a bicycle tour on Tanphong Island, cooking class, swimming pool, tour of market and local food factory (showing how to make many things from coconut and rice). It was a very peaceful experience again all at a great pace, and pretty interesting. So many fruits in the orchards, a guide to educate us on local lifestyle, and being out on the water. I highly recommend them. I slept perfectly, even though it was noisier than sleeping at the music festivals I have been to in the past because of all the very load karaoke blasting from peoples homes. I just focused on the sound of the water nearby, the crickets, and felt happy that everyone was enjoying the last few days of their special holiday.
I'm finishing up writing this at the airport as I wait for my flight to Hue where officially work will start tomorrow. It feels like I've been here longer than five days, so all of a sudden three weeks is feeling like a very long time. I'm trying not to focus on it, as really I have no idea what to expect. I feel like I should quote again from 'An Astronauts Guide to Life' but there are so many good things he says, but one thing he does mention several times, is you can spend hours preparing what to expect, but sometimes you may not know. Be as prepared as you can be, and know that's good enough.
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